The Shackles of Guilt and Shame

U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio participates in a working lunch with French President (Wikimedia Commons)

Events shattering any illusion of a safe world are arriving fast and hard, many of them tragic for thousands, if not millions. The latest is the war in the Middle East, sparked by U.S. and Israeli attacks on Iran. The noise and images of destruction fill our minds, and tears blur our eyes. In the process, we easily miss encouraging news as well as deeper, fundamental issues.

I would like to go back to the Munich Security Conference in mid-February. There, U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio delivered this message: Europe should not be shackled by guilt and shame. 

It is no longer only about tariffs and trade, the future of Greenland and Ukraine, defense spending, and now, the war with Iran. It is about our European mindset and attitude to life, and the recipe for becoming great nations. Europe is in decline, and the President of the United States and his government are concerned. Europe needs help.   

The message was challenging, but puzzling. It came from a government seemingly determined to deny facts, reality, and run away from the truth. Yet, Rubio and U.S. President Donald Trump, perhaps unwittingly, went right to the heart of what it is to be human. They gave us an unexpected opportunity to think through what true greatness is. 

Shame and guilt are part of our human makeup and character, and affect us as individuals and nations. In recent decades, the focus has been on the negative. Feelings of shame – because of one’s social class or family roots, religious faith, skin color, sexuality, or even nationality – can be deeply crippling. Feelings of guilt – over true and imagined moral failures, or for letting down family and friends through our life choices – can amount to emotional torture. Abusers often force their victims to bear the shame. Guilt and shame also take collective forms – hanging like dark shadows over nations. 

Shame and Guilt Make Us Human

However, it is equally true that shame and guilt are vital and valuable elements of what makes us human. We are created with a conscience, a precious instrument that should be handled with care. We make our choices within moral frameworks and try to discern what is right and wrong. Shame and guilt are flashing warning lights on our inner dashboard when we disregard honesty, lie, cheat, or treat others with disdain and indifference. They alert us to the harm we have caused, and sometimes spur us to repair the damage. We can get stuck in shame and guilt, but the good news is that facing the truth and asking for forgiveness has a liberating effect. The shackles break for individuals, communities, and nations. Many have experienced it and can attest to the freedom they have found. 

If, on the other hand, we dismantle our moral framework and trample our consciences, shame and guilt go underground and become threatening voices, reminding us of what we try to deny. The reality we run away from may come back to haunt us – hardly a recipe for liberation.

A Long and Painful Process

Rubio’s words from Washington targeted European nations directly. We are indeed struggling to find the right way forward. History offers an encouraging lesson: the rebuilding of Europe after World War II. In addition to the material devastation, there was a lot of shame and guilt. The genocide and dictatorship by the Nazi in Europe and the world burdened millions of Germans. Anger and hatred clouded the minds of nations in Europe and beyond. Many of them had to face up to their own failed policies after the First World War and their shortcomings in the years leading up to the Second. Building peace required a long and painful process. 

Fortunately, Europe benefitted from leaders with foresight and courage. Those leaders helped our countries reach agreements and set up structures for lasting cooperation. Germany’s willingness to face the truth was vital to this recovery, as was the welcome extended by other nations. Difficult dialogues and conferences led to forgiveness and reconciliation. That said, the outcome was far from perfect. Many people were traumatized, emotionally chained to the horrors they had suffered, and the Soviet Union and the countries under its control did not take part in the process. The Iron Curtain divided Europe for over 40 years until 1989.

Despite these shortcomings, I believe that the willingness to face uncomfortable truths, ask forgiveness, and try to forgive were keys to Europe’s future. It helped free the continent and its people from the shackles of shame and guilt. 

Unresolved Guilt

But the same could not be said of Europe’s relationship with the rest of the world. Europe was slow to confront the truth about the oppression it inflicted on Africa, Asia, and Latin America, and to release the grip of colonial control. In recent years, there have been efforts to own up to some of the harm caused and a willingness to pursue reparations, but resistance remains strong. Conflicting attitudes to refugee flows and the continuing economic exploitation of other continents have hampered a constructive debate. Sadly, ideas from the continent’s uglier past have also resurfaced. 

There is one particular dark cloud of shame that has not quite left European hearts and minds: the persecution and extermination of Jews before and during World War II, for which Europe – Germany in particular – bears responsibility. We had to face that horrible truth. I still recall the emotional impact of learning about the Holocaust at school. It should have made us sensitive to the suffering of all peoples. Yet when Jews – the former victims – became oppressors, Europe was unwilling, and often failed to stand up for the Palestinians. This became all too evident when Israel unleashed its brutal and relentless retaliation in Gaza after Hamas’s October 2023 attack. European leaders have shown shameful weakness in holding Israel accountable through tough political and financial measures. Unresolved guilt, I think, is one of the reasons for Europe’s inaction. 

Admission Takes Courage and Strength

The message from Rubio and Trump highlights a fundamental choice: Do we achieve liberation and greatness by running away from the darker sides of our history and society, or by facing them and taking to heart the suffering we have inflicted? 

To my mind, it is not a weakness to admit where we have been wrong or harmed others. It takes courage and strength. My faith in God and His love tells me that repentance leads to forgiveness and redemption. Shame and guilt help us repent. And that experience is open to everyone, not limited to the believers of one religion or the other. 

The U.S., like Europe, faces these questions. The legacy of slavery continues to haunt the nation. Many movements and initiatives have tried to repair the damage, restore dignity to the oppressed, and highlight their important part in building America’s greatness – spreading hope. But there is a powerful backlash.

The present war in the Middle East sharpens this point. We have every reason to be appalled by the repressive regime in Iran. Yet Western interference to control oil and gas in the region raises this question: Is the past coming back to haunt us?

This is not only about Europe or America. What we do with our past matters to every human being, community, and nation in the world.

Denial is a constant temptation. Navigating our inner world of shame and guilt is never easy – whether as individuals or collectively as a society. 

Even if weapons fall silent in today’s wars, this underlying need endures: liberation from the shackles of shame and guilt. 

*The opinions of contributing writers are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of We Are One Humanity. Submissions offering differing or alternative views are welcome

More stories from We Are One Humanity